I wish for a Healthy Relationship

I wish for a normal healthy relationship where I get a kiss goodbye on the way to work rather then my hair pulled and my wrist bruising when I board the train.

I wish for the evenings to be calm and quiet rather than screaming, swearing and crying,

I hate tip-toeing around the upstairs so I dont wake or irratate him in case I am sworn at.

I walk around with a horrible feeling in my stomach, some one is watching me, terrified he will arrive at my office and cause a scene, terrified he will misinterpret a smile between me and a friend.

I crave for some thing else. Something meaningful and loving, to be embraced by someone who doesnt bully me into doing things.

It never used to be like this. I always used to have the control , the freedom but as time has gone by , its got harder and I have got more and more scared and now I feel powerless and weak. I hate this feeling.